Not a Southern Girl After All

So either I didn't go far enough South, or else I really am a Northerner.
Okay, so I hate the cold. I don't do any winter sports (the idea of even going outside is enough to make me want to go back to bed) and if I have to leave the house, I'm bundled up so much I walk around like that kid in my dad's favorite Christmas movie (A Christmas Story), you know, where I have so many layers on I can't put my arms down by myself and have to slowly waddle wherever I'm going.
I thought going south would be good, because winter would be just like a prolonged autumn without the pretty colors, but I was lied to. True, most of the time, I can get by with just a sweatshirt.
But when it DOES snow, oh my god, even three inches is deadly. I've become such a wuss since I don't have snowtires on my car and living in a state that sincerely believes that plows will work without actually touching the road. I'm not even exaggerating: after a harrowing drive home from work through about 5 inches of powder and slush, during which I witnessed a plow truck with the PLOW UP just throwing salt all over, a coworker tried to convince me that that was because "it's powder. You can't plow powder. It's not possible." The entire state is like that. Try driving in unplowable powder/slush with no snow tires and drivers who begin to panic hours before the first snowflake falls. I had a coworker call out of work because he'd seen a weather report that it would start snowing THAT NIGHT.
News update: Just got my second snowday (tomorrow)... from the same storm... which ended yesterday.

So I either didn't move South enough, or I'm really a Northern girl, because all day today, I missed New England like crazy. I spent all day looking for places to rent back in NE where I could have space and trees and not as many crazy people. If you haven't guessed, my housemates are driving me nuts.
I had thought to stay here at least through the summer, but I think this Maryland Experiment is about done. Keep an eye out for cheap places for me to rent, or animal-industry jobs!