Does Anyone Still Read This?

It'd be nice to know if I'm wasting my time.

The Life of a Hermit

So some of you know that what I miss most about not living in MD is having space. I need breathing room. I need trees. I need to not have neighbors constantly buzzing around my house. It makes for very claustrophobic living. Plus I keep thinking I'm going to end up running over one of the millions of little neighbor kids who keep riding their bikes in the parking lot and darting out into the street.
Dad has been building a little bunker of sorts on Jackson Pond. For those of you who've been there, it's literally in the middle of freaking nowhere. His creation (which isn't done yet) will be basically one tiny square room with a dirt floor. Four walls, a ceiling, a door and a woodstove. No electricity, no running water, no conveniences. Well, there is a spring a couple yards away. That's kind of convenient.
Anyways, Dad offered me this little haven for awhile, and I've been more than seriously considering it. He says it probably won't be finished till late summer, but I'm hoping it gets done much sooner. What does it say about me and my current situation that I'm like "electricity? I don't REALLY need it..."
I've used a few people as sounding boards so far. No one seems to think I can hack it. Dad says it'd be a good experience for me, but I'm not sure he has any faith in my endurance either. He also says it'd be easier to live there late fall through the winter than it would during the summer, mainly because of the bugs. I don't disagree that the bugs are going to be awful, but I know my abilities well enough to know that I can be moderately self-sufficient in warm weather, and probably even live there through a Maryland or New Jersey winter, but I am not tough enough to survive a NH winter there by myself. I hate the cold on a normal basis, and don't think I'm strong enough to shovel my way out of the hut all the way back up to the road, I doubt that road gets plowed well, and I'm even less sure that my little Toyota Echo could handle it even if it WERE plowed. I'd have to either hibernate or starve, because I think I'd be stuck.
But anyway, here's what I've come up with so far; tell me what you think:

*No running water.
Inconvenient, but there is a nearby spring. As long as I'm willing to haul my own water, I can manage. I have a solar shower for when it's bright and sunny out, and I'll have a woodstove for when it's not. All I need is a flat non-dirty platform (or rock!) to stand on, and voila, insta-shower (just add water!). For laundry, I remember Dad had a little hand-crank one. It took forever, but it works. I'm not sure if he has his anymore, but I found where I can get one anyways. All else fails, I'll go visit the 'rents and borrow their washer. Clothes lines-- wonderful inventions. No electricity needed!
*Heat.
Okay, so this is kind of a problem. I'll have the woodstove and I'm great at setting fires, but it's the wood that's the problem. Scavenging sticks is all well and good, and I'll definitely spend a lot of time doing that, but I've never had to chop wood before. I asked Dad to show me how, and he said he'd do it for me as long as I carried it and stacked it. I think he's worried I'll chop off a limb by accident. Since that's sort of my fear too, I'm willing to go with him on this one.
*Cooking.
A bit time consuming, but I've cooked over woodstoves and fires before. Plus not all food needs to be cooked! I won't starve.
*Refrigeration.
Watertight cooler down in the very cold spring. I think It'd work.
*Lights.
Candles and kerosene lamps, lots of matches and lighters, and flashlights (with extra batteries) for if I need a quick night-light.
*No electricity.
Definite bummer, considering how attached to my computer I am. Who knows, maybe my life will improve by being unplugged? I know my time-management will. Besides, the only things I'll really NEED to have charged are my cell phone (in case of emergency) and my camera (a girl's gotta have priorities). I'm sure I'll manage to find somewhere with a plug for a few hours once a week. Maybe at work.
*Bugs.
Alright, this one I don't actually have an answer for. It'll probably be the worst part, and I have no defense other than bugspray, which I hate because it makes you feel slimy and smells funky.
*Bathroom.
Composting toilets. I hear they're the next big thing.
*Wild animals.
Luckily most of the ones who would eat me or Bailey (like the bobcat or fisher that are on the property) are nocturnal. As long as I have Bailey in before dark (it works with Rizzo, why shouldn't it work with Bailey?) we should be okay. That's the hope, anyway.
*Fear.
Not gonna lie, I'll probably get spooked there in the woods all by myself, especially the first few nights. It'd be better if I had a dog (don't ask why, but they're more bravery-boosting than my little kitten) but I don't, so I'll just have to get over it, right?

Alright, so what did I miss? I'd like the feedback, because I need to consider ALL the bad stuff more than the benefits, because I know it'd be hard to live there, and I have to realistically decide if it's something I could handle. No sense diving in without checking for aligators first, right?

Fairytale

Once upon a time, there was a princess.
Why? Because there's always a princess. Shut up; that's just how these things start. Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes, a princess.
Now this princess, she was not the normal sort. No fair-haired beauty, she, but a very ordinary looking sort, so long as purple-streaked hair and flannel shirts are ordinary.
What? 'Cause it's my story, that's why. She'll be a purple-haired punk redneck princess if I want her to be. Now stop interrupting.
So once upon a time this princess was riding through the kingdom on her fourwheeler, as all awesome royalty does, when she came across a woodchuck. Crap, that's not what I meant. She came across a person. Not a peasant; that wouldn't be very PC. Just an ordinary person. The person happened to be a guy. Not because a girl would be awkward or wrong in this situation, just that in this particular story, it was a guy. So this guy, we'll call him ummm... Stephen. Stephen very smartly got out of the way of the fourwheeler, because to stand in its way would be a silly thing to do. Getting run over by a fourwheeler, while probably not fatal, would still hurt a lot. Actually, it might be fatal. I'm not sure. I try to avoid that sort of thing. Anyway, the Princess, we'll call her Lisa-- no, I don't care if that's your sister's name. What? No! If it's good enough for your sister, it's good enough for this princess. Fine, whatever, we'll call her Lizzie then. Happy? Sheesh.
Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted AGAIN, Lizzie pulled the fourwheeler over to the side of the road, and took off her helmet so that she could say hello. Of course she's wearing a helmet. It's safer, and besides, this story has to have a moral SOMEWHERE. Right. So she took off the helmet to say hello, because it's very hard to talk through a helmet. Besides, you just look silly.
After the obligatory introductions, Stephen, being a smarter-than-average bear-- No, he's not a bear, he's a boy. It's just a Yogi Bear reference. Augh, I hate telling stories to you young kids. You never understand anything.
So he's smart; let's just leave it at that. Okay, so being smart, Stephen figured that rescuing a princess would be worth some sort of reward. The hitch in this little plan was that the only princess available for rescue at the moment didn't seem to be in need of rescue. In fact, she was about as far from a damsel-in-distress as he was.
Thinking quickly, seeing as she was in jeans and a flannel shirt, riding a fourwheeler, he figured that she would enjoy some rougher trails-- more excitement, you see.
"Princess, if it interests you, there's a little side-trail that ends in the rockiest mud-pit you will find in the region." What? Because mud and rocks are what fourwheeling is all about! Man, what do you DO for fun? Don't you ever leave the house? I bet you just play videogames all day. Okay, so rocks and mudpits are fun for fourwheelers. That's all you need to know.
Good grief, we'll never get done at this rate.
Yadda yadda yadda, Lizzie zoomed off on the side trail in search of fun, and Stephen hurried after her, hoping her fourwheeler would get broken or stuck, and he'd get to rescue her and get some sort of a reward. Yes it's logical. Fourwheelers break all the time. If you haven't trashed yourself and your fourwheeler, you probably didn't have much fun.
So let's assume Stephen did something devious to make the fourwheeler break so he could rescue her. What? I don't know. If I knew, I'd have just said what he did. I've never sabotaged a fourwheeling trail before; I'm just assuming it can be done. Besides, I'm getting tired of this story. You interrupt too much. Besides, isn't it past your bedtime?
Okay, so we'll skip ahead again, the fourwheeler is broken, Lizzie is stuck in the mud, and Stephen shows up ready to somehow rescue her. He pulls her out of the mud and gives her a ride home, and then smiles, assuming he's about to get a big reward. Money, fame, maybe the key to the city, I don't know.
So anyways, Lizzie says "Thanks for helping me out," and then cuts off his head. The end.
Oh come on, that's a great ending, plus now at least the story is over and I can stop answering your stupid questions. Moral? I don't know. How about "don't trust a girl who can't rescue herself," or maybe "don't lose your head over some girl."
Wait no, I've got a good one:
Wear a helmet.